8/8/17

Just The Two Of Us: Could Your Marriage Do With An Adults-Only Holiday?


By on 8/08/2017 09:27:00 AM

In the early days of a marriage, it’s all about the two of you. It’s about the moments you share together, the future you begin to create for yourselves, merging two lives into the same pot of hopes and dreams. It’s one of the most exciting times for you as a couple, giving you the foundation on which you can build the rest of your lives.


When you start your family, you still have that foundation, and having children brings your shared dreams still closer together. As your children grow up, you find yourselves caught in an endless whirl of activity, breezing through school terms and holidays, delighting in every moment. If you’re lucky, this is something you and your spouse will do together, but it’s not always that easy.

If this is an issue you have been struggling with, then there is a potential solution: the adults-only holiday. But how does it work, why is it necessary, and why is a holiday more important than the occasional night?

The Need For Time Away As A Couple

Hopefully that foundation you spent your early time together building is going to be enough to sustain you for the time-deprived initial years of raising a family, but that doesn’t mean you can just let focus on your marriage fall by the wayside. By far the happiest couples are those who still acknowledge their need to be husband and wife, rather than just being Mom and Dad.

It is often thought that raising a family together is the most bonding thing in the world for couples, but the statistics would suggest otherwise. Couples who have families are by no means immune from being included in the divorce statistics, indicating that while raising a family is endlessly wonderful, it can also take its toll on the individual relationship between spouses. When you are constantly thinking of your kids, it’s very easy to find yourselves not quite able to continue thinking of each other in quite the same way - you simply don’t have the time.

An adults-only holiday gives you that time, with no other distractions, to just focus on one another.


Date Nights versus Adults-Only Holiday

The concept of a “date night” is nothing new, but its burgeoning popularity has assisted many couples in remembering why they got together in the first place. Nevertheless, a date night is just one night, and one that may end with putting your children to bed or dealing with a stack of paperwork at home.

Difficult as it might sound if the idea of leaving your kids with a babysitter for one night is tough, an adults-only holiday might be the best way to keep a marriage interesting. This gives you a chance to fully decompress from the family demands on your time, and spend some time together doing what you both want, without the need to find suitable children-friendly activities.

In fact, taking an adults-only holiday will probably improve how you feel about family holidays and outings. Being a parent doesn’t stop you being an individual, and sometimes, it’s nice to remember who you are - and with your closest ally in the process by your side. You still love parenting, still see it as the most fulfilling thing you have ever done, but you’re also still you.

What’s more, taking a few adults-only holidays throughout your children’s lives gives you a good footing when it comes to dealing with the potential ramifications of “empty nest syndrome”. If you’ve spent time up until that point ensuring your marriage is in good health - and you have no problem being alone together - then it should stand you in good stead in the future.

Finances versus The Adults-Only Holiday

So, taking the time to travel as a couple might sound good in the abstract, but could it be a possibility for you and your family circumstances?

There’s no doubt about it; there is a financial demand for traveling just as a couple. Not only do you have to worry about finding the funds for the holiday itself, but you will need to make provisions for childcare.

Most often, this will come from family and friends - people you feel comfortable and able to trust with the care of your children. Nevertheless, it will still cost money; it’s only polite to offer to pay for your children’s needs when they are in the care of someone else.

One of the best ways of dealing with this is to lower your expectations. While a week spent in the Maldives might be the dream for your adults-only holiday, this doesn’t need to be the case. A weekend away somewhere secluded will have the same energizing impact on your marriage. More than anything, going away adults-only is as much about taking you from your home as it is about where you go. Sometimes, you just need to escape the usual worries about cleaning, schedules, playdates and so on - where you go isn’t that important, just as long as you’re not staying home.

There are various ways of coping with this financial demand. You could ask the people who will be caring for your kids to let you pay them back in installments. You could investigate your borrowing options, keeping in mind the pending financial legislation that might influence such a decision. Or you could do it the old way and just save up until you have the requisite funds for your mini-break; whatever works for you.


So Should You Do It?

Realistically, reading the above you will probably already know whether or not an adults-only holiday is what you and your spouse need. For some couples, they can manage just fine, juggle their time, still be husband and wife, and don’t feel the need for a spot of escapism. However, if that’s not you, then that’s okay as well! Parenting is a different experience for everyone, and you might have circumstances that mean you do occasionally want a break for just the two of you.

If you find yourself feeling tempted, why not talk with your spouse and see what they think? That is, after all, what this is all about!



About Angela

Angela is a freelance writer and blogger, blessed with 3 daughters, 4 cats, 1 needy dog, and 1 very supportive husband.

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