Advertisement

How to Successfully Integrate Your Adoptive Child into Your Family

Adopting a child into your family is exciting, scary, and emotional for both you, your adoptive child, and any other children you may have. So, how can you make it work?

 



As a new parent to an adopted child, making sure they integrate into your family will be top of your priority list. That said, it’s not always clear how best to achieve it.

Of course, speaking to your family law solicitors will help you get the ball rolling, but they won’t be able to provide you with the advice you need to start bonding as a family. So, perhaps you need some tips to help you through?

 

Never fear - in this post we’re going to share some advice on how to integrate your adoptive child into your family. This way, you can move on with your lives together as quickly as possible.

 

How to Integrate Your Adoptive Child into Your Family?

 

Luckily for you, you’re not the first person to adopt a child, and there are a plethora of tips out there from other parents who’ve been through it. To save you from having to scour the internet yourselves for this advice, we’ve collected the most common one’s for you.

1. Prepare your current children

For those parents who already have children, preparing them for the arrival of your adopted child is key. Let them know that the new child may be a little different to them, either culturally or because of past trauma, and that your parenting style might change slightly.

 

Explain to them that, at first, you’ll have to spend a bit of time integrating the adoptive child into the family. Then, once they’re settled, you’ll go back to giving them equal attention. It’s very important that your current children are ready to accept a new child in your home if you want the adoptive child to integrate well.

2. Prepare your home

Create a private space for the adopted child to call their own, as it will help them feel like they have an actual place to call their own. Find out what food they like before they arrive, and make sure you’re stocked up on it.

 

You can even buy them some toys you think they’ll like, or some new clothes. This way, they should feel like you’re welcoming them into the family the moment they arrive.

3. Involve them in your family culture


 

What are the unspoken elements of your family culture? What sorts of things are you into? What running jokes do you have? The more information you can extract about your culture the more inclusive you can be with your adoptive child.

 

Once you’ve extracted some elements of your family culture, think of ways to include your new child in them once they arrive. The more part of your culture they feel, the quicker your adoptive child will integrate.

4. Invent new family rituals

As important as it is to involve your adoptive child in your current family culture, creating new rituals with them can also help them integrate.

 

Forcing your new child to be like everyone in your family runs the risk of making them feel like an outsider trying to fit in. To give them the best chance of integrating, try creating new activities, jokes and other cultural elements that incorporate the traditions they had before they met you.

5. Give them structure

Having a daily/weekly routine will help your adoptive child integrate into your family timeline. Your child needs to know when you wake up for the day, when meals are served, when the school day starts, and when bedtime is.

 

Equally, they need to know the kinds of things you do on a weekly basis and what you do at the weekends. The quicker they get used to your schedule the better.

6. Set rules and boundaries

When trying to integrate your new child, your instinct might be to let them get away with whatever they want in the name of them having a good time.

 

However, setting boundaries and rules on what is and isn’t allowed is absolutely essential if you don’t want to end up resenting your new child. Lots of adoptive children come from difficult backgrounds and are craving boundaries.

 

The chaos of being able to get away with what you want and not knowing what is and isn’t okay can actually make a child more anxious, depressed and worried about their place in the world than if they have a rulebook to live their lives by.

7. Have fun


 

Of course, setting rules and boundaries doesn’t mean being super strict and eliminating fun altogether.

 

Having fun with your new child by involving them in activities, taking them on trips, and playing the games they want to play will show them that, although you are the parent and there are rules to be followed, there are times to have fun and you know how to have it.

8. Provide opportunities for them to share their feelings

If you want to know how the integration of your adoptive child is going, and how they feel about being part of your family, you need to let them know you’re there to listen.

 

Make sure that when they open up to you, your reactions are positive regardless of what they’re telling you. The second you get upset because they’ve said something negative, the less likely they’ll be to share their feelings with you in future.

 

It’s also important to support them emotionally if they’ve come from a difficult background or had a troubling past. Helping them through their problems will show them that not all parents are bad, and that they can have a normal life (whatever that may be).

 

Are These All the Ways to Integrate Your Adoptive Child into Your Family?

 

In this post, we’ve shared some of the most common advice from adoptive parents on how to integrate your new child into your family.

 

There are more tips out there to be found but, if you follow the advice we’ve shared above, you’ll be in a much better position to integrate your adoptive child into your family than if you were to make it up as you went along.

 

Hopefully this article has been helpful to you and good luck with your adoption!

 

Photo credits:

Mother and daughter under umbrella - Photo by Gabe Pierce on Unsplash

Family washing a golden retriever - Photo by CDC on Unsplash

Playing football with child - Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels[JC1] 


Post a Comment

0 Comments

Comments

The ZOO banner 3