As a parent, you try to teach your children as much about the world as possible and how they can cope with the challenges of being human. Some of the advice you give may be wrong, quite a lot of it might be misguided - and a healthy portion of what you say will stay valuable to them forever, guiding them through the jungle of adulthood.
Here is what people across the web admit to having realized the value of as they grew up, even though they certainly didn’t see the benefits of it when they were younger.
#1 Don’t stress growing up
The confusing time when children and preteens are told to be responsible but not too responsible can trigger them to go in either direction; where some children refuse to grow out of their childish habits, others can’t wait to be proper adults.
If your heart aches when you see your children grow out of their toys and dismiss their old hobbies, you’ll be happy to hear that most young adults wish they could have stayed in their childhood for a bit longer. And the ones whose parents told them not to stress this whole growing-up thing are still happily enjoying their youth in between the regular office hours.
This mindset extends to those who entered their late twenties and thirties, feeling slightly panicky over suddenly being the ‘experienced’ ones in the office. The father of a Redditor used to say that it’s ‘scary when you realize we’re the competent ones’ and many adults feel this way; people are starting to depend on you and trust your experience and the idea of suddenly being a mentor can be quite frightening.
#2 Budget everything
Money matters is another topic that many young adults today are happy that their parents taught them. Even if they didn’t realize the value of it when they were children or teenagers, the knowledge had sunk in by the time they needed it the most.
Buy a book on budgeting for your teenager and go through it with them so that they’re financially fit by the time they head off to college. No matter how much they sniff at it now, it will prove to be valuable later on.
Another Redditor in the same thread explains how he had to watch his cousins get showered with video consoles and cool gifts when they were little, while his parents simply explained that in their household, they saved their money instead.
Although he found it to be immensely unfair at the time, he’s all grown up now, and his finances are in order - while the cousins are in massive debt.
#3 Not all your friends need to be forever-friends
It sounds like a strange and rather sad advice to give, yet many people wish their parents had taught them something similar when they were children. Some hold on too tightly to their past and forget to develop and maintain new friendships.
While old friends are always important and good to have, teenagers and young adults need to understand the value of new friendships as well - and learn to let go of the ones we grow out of and be able to identify toxic relationships.
Although you should encourage your children to maintain their current relationships, you can also do a lot for them by suggesting that they invite new friends over for sleepovers and make their space appealing so that they’d like to have people over. Let them decorate their bedrooms and toss in a few custom loungers to make it cozy; your kid will be the host of the year.
There is a difference between valuing your friendships and romanticizing the past; hold on too tightly, and you might miss out on a lot of new experiences.
#4 Learn how to study
Most parents stress the importance of education and hope their children will get into a good college. Those who didn’t finish their degrees, on the other hand, are ready to admit that they wish they listened to their parents when they said that working in a restaurant or a shop isn’t something you’d like to do forever.
Even more importantly is passing on the knowledge of good study techniques. Your children may very well end up going to college - and they may just as well drop out of college as they’re not used to this way of studying. Where some children read their way through school and work for their good grades, others manage to flow through it without even opening a book.
This is good news for children and teenagers who would like to graduate high school without working too hard, but it’s really bad news as soon as they start college. It’s not possible to just float through your studies at this stage, and the right study techniques can truly make it or break it for a young student.
Implement the right habits and discipline as soon as possible rather than stressing the importance of college; when they master their studies, they’ll learn to love it and may progress without any external expectations.
#5 You can’t fly with the eagles if you sleep with the pigeons
This user actually got a gold mark for the advice their parents had shared with them, making it quite clear that more people would have been in need of these words of wisdom. It’s difficult to control what kind of friends your children choose and, although you can try to refuse them from hanging out the dodgy kids all you like, they won’t be likely to listen.
By pointing out that good friends will never encourage you to do something utterly foolish on your own, you might be able to open your teenager’s or preteen’s eyes a bit. Advising them to choose their friends with care in order not to be held back can actually work wonders for some.
And the same goes for telling them that if they’re the smartest person in the room, they’re probably in the wrong room. Push your kids to surround themselves with hard-working pupils and friends who will make them strive to be better - they’ll grateful for it when they’re older.
It’s almost heartwarming to see how many young adults and fully grown people appreciate and remember the advice their parents gave them. Persistence and repetition may sometimes work when you’re giving the right advice - and they’ll make use of it for the rest of their lives.
0 Comments