Did Personality Quirks Ruin your Marriage?

When you’re in love with someone, you see all their quirks as endearing. You marvel at how they have an odd way of doing things or their mannerisms are uniquely theirs. You even talk about it with your friends and maybe your partner does the same.

And so you decide to get married thinking you've found someone you'll find endearing for life. The problem is a couple of years into the marriage, their individuality becomes an annoyance.

Seeing Through the Mask

There's nothing wrong with a quirky personality, and there's certainly no direct correlation between it and divorce. However, when you're married to someone whose way of doing things contradicts yours, there’s bound to be some friction. That may lead to misunderstandings and fights, and those are what make their quirks hard to deal with.

You may have loved how they only ate food prepared a certain way, and sure, you indulged it. But now, they overcriticize you for not doing things exactly as they want them done. Something as small as this may lead you to consult with divorce lawyers in Kent, WA, and once you start talking about the marital problems, you realize there are bigger issues to deal with.

Inequality in the Marriage

It’s not just your spouse wanting you to comply with their every wish. It might also be them refusing to do the same for you. When one party is doing so much and the other doing so little, the inequality becomes apparent. You think to yourself, do they even still love you when they’re not willing to compromise? This is a matter that could be resolved by plain old talking, but if marriage counseling has brought these issues to the surface and your partner refuses to admit they have some shortcomings, you'll only be unhappy.

It’s important for a married couple to keep love and respect together in the relationship. That love you have for them is the reason you're willing to change things around your life to accommodate their needs. It’s not preposterous to want them to do the same.

Differences Extend to Parenthood

Of course, the marriage should not have to mean you lose your individuality. It's healthy for a married person to still have a circle of friends to be with. Even disagreements can strengthen the relationship as long as you know how to resolve them. If there’s one thing you and your spouse should not argue over, however, it’s the way you raise children. The children will be confused if one parent is laying out rules, but the other parent is telling them it’s okay to break said rules.

It may be because you and your spouse have stopped communicating effectively with each other, and the children are suffering. If there's such a deep level of disconnect with your spouse and it’s making it difficult to raise children in a healthy setting, it’s best for everyone involved to end the marriage.

It’s time to stop looking at divorce as a way of giving up. Sometimes, marriages just don’t work despite your best efforts.

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